Dear Boundless Families:
To begin, I want to offer my congratulations to the many parents who managed to let go of their kids for almost two weeks. This is no small accomplishment in this day and age of “Intensive Parenting”, a new term I learned this past week.
It’s a much more respectful phrase than “Helicopter Parenting.”
Your kids just nailed it up here. Mastering the craft of English is at the bottom of their list of meaningful accomplishments. They managed to find a place in their tribe. They spread their wings in your absence, and because of your absence.
I cannot stress enough how important this is. Even before Covid, the mental health of kids was plummeting. Covid made it worse. So many of your lovelies found their footing at Boundless this past session. All on their own.
Intensive Parenting means that kids are the centres of their parents’ worlds. Intensive parents will program their kids from a very early age, intently focussed on preparing their children for next steps and to provide every conceivable “advantage”. There is very little “now”. There is only preparing for the next rung on the ladder to success. The loss of “now” is devastating because it sucks the vitality out of childhood.
Intensive parents will intervene to solve their kids’ problems at the slightest provocation. They will choose school courses. Homework is a collaboration. They want input into their kids’ social lives.
This approach drains initiative and undermines the development of resilience.
In the olden days, raising a child was more of a collaborative and coercive effort. You surrender your child to school, to camp and to the neighbourhood. You allowed other caregivers to cast influence and steer your kids into interesting escapades.
I have mostly boycotted my own blog and parent updates during the summertime. I realize this has disappointed some of you. Nevertheless, the choice feels like a desperate effort to create badly needed separation.
Sorry for the rant, but there are times when I despair over the state of adolescent mental health. You, the reader, did good in letting your kids go to Boundless. You will see this tomorrow in an instant when you behold their rosy cheeks and proud postures. May their success spur you on to step back even more. To let your kids try and solve their own problems. There are countless instances when this happened the past 12 days. You may never know about them. This is a wonderful thing.
Thank you for entrusting your children to our care.
We really have loved every minute of it.
Sincerely,
Steven Gottlieb
