I am imagining a parenting debate about being punitive with three heavyweights – Rabbi Schmelke, an 18th century Rabbinic sage who touted tolerance; the Soup Nazi, an iconic character in “Seinfeld”, and Rashi, the definitive Hebrew scholar of ancient times.
The Soup Nazi denied his delights to anyone who didn’t order their soup in exactly the manner he prescribed. If you equivocated for a millisecond on what brand of soup to order or show even a molecule of disrespect, then “It’s no soup for you. Not now, not ever. Get Out!”
The Soup Nazi had his hundreds of devotees lining up around the block, trembling on eggshells, preparing themselves to present impeccable manners and decisiveness. And they did. The Soup Nazi was master of his domain.
Many teachers and parents can only dream of this outcome. It makes for a calm and orderly classroom or home; and could be a prescription for teaching good manners.
Rashi was arguably the most famous interpreter of God’s wrath that ever was. He also was a champion of harsh discipline, as we shall see in a moment.
Rabbi Schmelke refutes this whole punitive approach. One of his teachings, which references Rashi, is quoted in a passage below in the book “Tales of the Hasidim” by Martin Buber. Schmelke points out the backward logic of punishment.
THIEVES LUCK
With regard to Rashi’s (teaching): “He whose ear heard “Thou shalt not steal” on Mt. Sinai and then went and stole, his ear shall be pierced (cut off)”.
Rabbi Schmelke said, “Before God gave his commandments down from Mount Sinai, everyone took care that his property was not stolen from him. And because the thieves knew this, they did not try to steal. But after God spoke the words, “Thou shalt not steal”, and men felt secure, the trade of thieving began to thrive!”
Rashi is saying, do what God says, or else. The Soup Nazi is equally as brutal. It is hoped that punishment, or the prospect of punishment, will thwart bad behaviour. It is literally the oldest argument in the Book.
Schmelke, on the other hand, is suggesting that punishment is antithetical to creating conditions where common sense prevails. He implies that common sense should guide us on how to keep a stable community. Heavy handed rules will often engender the opposite outcome you are trying to achieve.
So here is a bite-sized summation of the Boundless approach to discipline.
We call it “the relational model”.
Our guide to responding to student “infractions” is based on the strength of teacher-student relationships, common sense and using a fresh lens EVERY time we are faced with a “violation”.
I have written in the past about the pains we take in finding the right teachers that students will connect with. The kids think we are cool, and they also sense we won’t take crap. But their affection for us often carries the day and this gives Boundless a huge advantage.
The strength of this staff-student alliance creates an atmosphere of respect where students are steered towards “DOING THE RIGHT THING”. Realistically, we all know that teens will not always care about contributing to the community, working hard, and treating others with respect and dignity. However, it is our goal to provide patient, supportive guidance so they will choose to “do the right thing”. There is an intrinsic sense of justice that every teen possesses, and we zero in on this. And it takes time. Sometimes more time than conveniently exists in the real world. But we have the time, blessed as we are by a ratio of two teachers for every five students.
We take a fresh perspective every instance things go a little awry with a student. Our code of conduct is merely a guide. While our only punishment is expelling a student – and this does happen on rare occasions – we have no blueprint or matrix of consequences. We focus on accountability, atonement, and on principles of restorative justice, where victims of code violations play a huge role in restoring balance to the community.
This is one key reason the outcomes our students achieve here are outstanding.
This is a lot to chew on and easier said than done. Please feel free to correspond with me at [email protected]
Kind regards,
Steven Gottlieb
